Jefferson Blue Jays at Herculaneum Blackcats

Herculaneum spent much of training camp bragging about how fast people can run on the Varsity Blackcats’ new artificial turf. This weekend, the Felines’ best hope is that Mother Nature will slow that track down.

Jefferson looks poised for a Turbo Clock win over rival Herculaneum, even though JHS is not sporting a “plus” point-differential after starting 1-1. Any confident brand with a winning tradition would be heavily favored over Herky right now, because 2024’s Blackcats have blown 2 relatively easy games to open 0-2, haven’t scored a TD in about 72:00, and don’t seem responsive enough to their HC Blane Boss.

We’re hoping that 2 factors help Herky make a noble Week 3 effort. Wet weather is one, since the battle at the line-of-scrimmage can actually get easier for younger, less strong blockers in the rain or drizzle. Senior linemen cannot simply plant their feet in the dry ground and knock the block off-kilter with pure muscle. It’s also hard to fathom that Dunklin’s kids have already given up on Herculaneum’s new season, though it’s clear that the ‘Cats are underachieving, and they may not be happy about this summer’s whispers that Coach Boss was taking fliers from other programs, especially after Boss talked about “finding a new group” last October. Herky’s got a way of bouncing back after it hits rock bottom, and even if not all of the ’24 Blackcats are satisfied that their coaches trust them, there’s no reason not to roll the dice and give this year 100%.

TGG won’t give Herky’s players any old-schoolin’ advice, such as to go 110% for all coaches no matter what. It wouldn’t be honest. Your blogger is one of those people who would run through a wall for a “boss” if they venture a pat on the back, but would never want to play (or work) for someone who seemed to have unfair contempt for him. If it was his pigskin coach, it would make The Geek want to drop-kick the ball through his own uprights (for minus-3 points) and walk off the field, though maybe not while tearing his shirt off and cussing at everybody, like Antonio Brown when he quit. But the advice Mississippi Magazine can give Herky’s kids is that it’s tacky for a band to play the same song twice in a row. We’ve already gone through the whole “how’s Herky’s relationship with its head coach” thing just last autumn, and HHS came roaring out the other side. Dunklin can do that again now if its student-athletes forget everything and just go and play. Remember, Jefferson can’t simply pitch and run up the field faster than you can anymore. In fact, neither team’s rushers will race too fast if Francene arrives angry. PREDICTION: BLUE JAYS 27, BLACKCATS 7

Photo Credit: Jerrianne Wallace

Seckman Jaguars at Northwest Lions

What’s good news for most of the county is bad news for Northwest, and potentially Herky too, in Friday’s matchups of David vs Goliath. Hurricane Francene may come apart and wash over the Midwest a little early, according to the latest weather reports. What’s weird about Friday’s forecast is that the wet, tropical conditions are supposed to quit late in the evening, followed by a dry spell, followed by more rain early Saturday morning. Could there be an actual “Eye of the Hurricane” at some point, if not all of Friday if the storm does blow through quickly? Coaches may need to be aware of “sudden change downs” on more than the typical ‘play following a turnover.’

Without severe conditions to serve as an equalizer, Northwest will almost surely suffer its first defeat of the season when Seckman visits on Friday. SHS’s defense has let up zero meaningful TDs on the season so far, apart from Tristen Hanks’ long run for Fox that gave the Warriors their only points of Week 2. Northwest’s attack labored against Mehlville, and there’s not much chance of scoring in double-digits against a far superior defense. But even on a perfectly dry field, the Lions’ own defense is developing into a unit that can stand up to the big, bad Jags. PREDICTION: JAGUARS 28, LIONS 0

Festus Tigers at Windsor Owls

Live Stream STL’s “upset watch” picks for Week 3 include Washington over Hillsboro (snicker), Cuba over Grandview (SNORT!), and Windsor over Festus R-6 (hee hee). The Gridiron Geek is going on record to say that those 3 contests will have at least a 100+ point (combined) winning margin on the scoreboards after 36:00 each, and not in favor of WHS, WHS, or Fidel Castro. PREDICTION: TIGERS 55, ALBINO BIRDS 7

Fox Warriors at Ritenour Huskies

So, it’s another year in which Fox Varsity Football has fallen to its cross-town (or south-town) rivals from Seckman. Does the rest of the Warriors’ season have to feel like an epitaph, as it sometimes can for a Mississippi Conference school that loses a climactic late-season contest against Hillsboro High?

Maybe not. Fox’s midseason slate is potentially filled with so many good, tight games that within a few weeks – if the Warriors do their part – 2024’s surprise summer kickoff at Seckman High will feel like a “Snoopy Bowl” between the New York Jets and New York Giants, which comes with all the requisite colorful hype and rivals’ vinegar at the time it happens…and then is forgotten about by the fall. Ritenour is just the first of several toss-up games on the FHS slate going forward, and well-matched scrums will make the long-term performances of Fox’s seniors critical in building a winning record.

Still, it’s hard not to think Week 3 is a pivotal time for Arnold this season. Ritenour represents the kind of big, fast, but ultimately flawed teams that the Suburban League schedule is full of. Take advantage of the Huskies’ few weaknesses to win this Friday, and Fox could rebuild enough confidence to be standing 6-2 by the time Ladue visits for what should be yet another tough, but winnable bout for Fox High on Senior Night.

Friday’s clash is also a chance for Fox, having just taken it on the chin from Seckman again, to show that its pigskin program is racing along with the streaking Jaguars. There are a number of Suburban League teams who have been relying too much on their big offensive lines and good runners, squads who are always in business on 2nd down and 4 but unquestionably hapless on 3rd and 10, given their clumsy pass-blocking and ball distribution in the aerial game. Pattonville was one such team that Seckman exposed last midseason. If Fox’s defense can stand up to Ritenour’s hot rusher D’marcus Wilson, and put Ritenour’s QB under pressure, FHS can turn the same trick.

Week 3 could also be the breakout Friday for Arnold’s swift youngster Jude Pribish. Seckman forced Fox into going to the A-Back an awful lot last week, and the Jaguars controlled the ball so much that Fox’s backfield only got about 20 combined carries. The Ritenour Huskies offense isn’t designed to gobble up the Game Clock like Seckman’s even when it’s working, giving us a hunch that Friday is the night when Pribish finally gets fed more than a nibbish. PREDICTION: WARRIORS 22, RITENOUR 14

Washington Blue Jays at Hillsboro Hawks

As world-affairs reporters like to say, 2 things can be true at once. Hillsboro has been knocked for a loop by its difficult opening schedule, but Varsity Hawks coaches intended for that to happen, and Leon Hall has emerged from the gauntlet looking like another contender in ’24. What coaches didn’t intend for is for Week 3’s first contest against a similar-sized public school to occur in a tropical rainfall, but that’s a chance Missouri’s schools take by starting the season so early. Drenched conditions by the stables could hamper Hillsboro’s intricate ball-handling tactics, and dampen the defending District champs in prospering with their newfound short-passing game. Washington’s play selection is far simpler than Hillsboro’s, potentially an advantage with a wet egg.

YouTube’s prediction of a Week 3 stumble in Hillsboro, however, can’t be based on any serious look at Washington’s form on offense to begin 2024. Washington had an awful night with the football in its Week 2 defeat to Warrenton, a Class 4 team that’s maybe comparable to Hillsboro’s, but isn’t on the Blue & White’s level of achievement just yet. Washington averaged literally 0.9 yards-per-carry against Warrenton last weekend. It’s great for the visiting Washington Blue Jays that there may be cautious and low-scoring circumstances at Hillsboro on Friday, but it’s silly to think WHS can score close to enough times to win such a battle. PREDICTION: HAWKS 28, WASHINGTON 6

Bayless Bronchos at Crystal City Hornets

It’s a “Red Alert” for Crystal City on Homecoming, and no, the lineup hasn’t dropped below 15 padawans strong. In fact, 2024’s early Homecoming Game should be the first time we get a glimpse of Crystal City’s whole outstanding roster this season, with the Festus R-6 transfer London Patton (he was underneath FHS’s “Lollipop Guild” on 2023’s depth chart, so we can’t blame him for seeking an available Varsity gig) retaking a role on the boundary after making 6 tackles in the Hornets’ debut, adding to a full contingent of about 21 CCHS student-athletes going up against Bayless.

Friday night’s issue is that with a burly opponent and the foul weather combined, those “21” kids could wind up playing Blackjack. The heaviest of Francene’s rain, if it strikes around 7 PM, could produce a “casino” environment in which a low-scoring team like Bayless can gobble loose footballs, and score any which way. That’s true in the wet weather no matter who you play, but Bayless is growing as a school and a brand.

If there’s one good thing about the “Quad County Conference” idea, it’s that the league is poised to mimic the Meramec’s mix of Class 2 + Class 4 public school contenders, if only the QCC’s Class 4 berths go “shopping” for better on-field products in the years to come. The bookends are there with Perryville and Bayless, with the 1-1 Bronchos’ performance versus Grandview in Week 2’s 25-6 loss showing rapid progress.

Friday’s prediction “angles” are in favor of Crystal, and yet they’re in favor of Bayless too. BHS boasts an NCAA prospect rusher in junior Marvin Jones, and a set of 250-to-300 lb. kids to block for him, though the Bayless “bigs” are still far more effective on the defensive side of the ball. Bayless can beat a good Class 1 team in the right scenario, and the standard “Homecoming Blues” syndrome of fumbles, INTs, and penalties on Crystal’s behalf would leave the door wide open for Bayless to pound Jones up the middle, limit CCHS to partial drives, and steal away with an ugly low-scoring win.

If Crystal City has a clean game with no turnovers, Hornets coaches could eventually be glad of the rainy weather. Rain gives Crystal’s slightly smaller offensive line a better chance to blow those 300-pounders off the pigskin. The Geek knows that from watching Veer-style teams hydroplane a larger D-Line upfield like stunt-car drivers in the rain. But with HC Adam Sims having coached in years of freewheeling I-55 Conference tilts, it’s incumbent on Crystal’s new skipper to understand how the Hornets go about beating Class 4 teams with more size and bigger numbers. Week 3’s scoreboard will not read anything like “St. Pius 38, Grandview 26” in the 3rd quarter. Crystal’s been punting extremely well this season thus far, and that’s great, but this Friday they’ve got to supplement that by kicking their kickoffs down the field and not allowing beneficial field position to a larger opponent, as former head coach Dan Fox often did. Fox’s defense was always good enough to get away with it…when Bayless was still prohibitively bad. As The Monkees tune goes, “that was then, this is now.”

Keep the Bayless Bronchos “at bay” with bad field position, and make the wet turf into a visitors’ hazard as Bayless tries to drive 70+ yards. Call for Crystal City’s old “here, take this” 12-yard kickoffs, and watch a bigger team pin your own boys down. It’s that simple for a Class 1 coaching staff that isn’t used to have special teams determining a contest. But we want it to be Crystal’s kids who’re leaping around and celebrating with a slippery game’s pivotal fumble-return TD. The best “roulette spin” Sims can make on Friday is to keep the bean closer to BHS’s end zone. PREDICTION: HORNETS 20, BAYLESS 12

DeSoto Dragons at North County Raiders

This blogger is bad at football “eye testing.” But having watched the new-and-improved DeSoto offense for 2 weeks now, we think the Dragons’ attack is just good enough to annoy North County High School’s offense more than it hurts North County’s defense. The Raiders’ attempts at scoring drives will be more successful than DeSoto’s, but the Buccaneer quarterback and receivers might be spending a rather long time waiting between turns, wondering when NHCS’s linebackers will get a handle on DHS’s bobbing and weaving. PREDICTION: NORTH COUNTY 34, DRAGONS 9

Knob Noster Panthers at St. Pius Lancers (Correction and Apology)

Do the I-55’s old teams think 0-2 St. Pius is being “punished” like SMU in 1989? It’s not really going to work that way vis-a-vis the Lancers’ tough schedule, which is almost 100% the school’s own choice. Hill Valley’s coach Frank Ray could have booked Principia’s schedule if he wanted to. 2024’s gauntlet is what the Lancers want. Still, the Lancers’ difficult Week 3 matchup in Kansas City is not a result of “ceremonial” dates scheduled against big-shots to try to get attention, nor is it an outcome of SPX trying to swing above its head all the time now. Knob Noster looked like a very even matchup for St. Pius X going into the new season, having just gone about .500 in an average western-MO field. But the 2024 Panthers have opened the year by crushing opponents who they lost to in 2023, including Oak Grove, the Class 3 program that manufactured an 8-2 campaign before losing a heartbreaker to California High. In other words, Ray’s young charges are facing a host with all of the physical tools of last week’s victorious Fort Zumwalt East, but with twice the confidence at this point. If the Lancers lose fumbles on the goal-line 2x in this particular scrum, Friday’s final scoreboard will look worse. PREDICTION: KNOB NOSTER 36, LANCERS 20

CORRECTION: The Geek made his biggest goof of the 2024 season so far this week, covering St. Pius X’s kickoff as a (long) road trip to play on a dry gridiron. Friday’s HOME game will take place right at Hill Valley, and maybe in the rain against a bus-weary opponent. Is that enough to change a prediction 16 points to the good side??? Aw, heck, why not. PREDICTION: ST. PIUS 23, KNOB NOSTER 17 (OT)

(Special thanks to Mississippi Magazine reader Billy Rhodes for helping TGG out on this one.)

Grandview Eagles at Cuba Wildcats (Saturday Night Game)

The Pac-12 lives! No, really, it’s a football game in Cuba, MO that’s kicking off on the wrong night altogether, competing with westerly NCAA pigskin in something we’ll call “Saturday Night Lights.” Meanwhile, there’s that YouTube show that was tricked by Cuba’s kooky 1-1 record to think Grandview is in for a Week 3 dogfight. TGG looks forward to convincing the same guys that Pac-12 Football is still a thing in 2024.

Week 3 QCC Shopping Network Standings

Grand View Grapple Gear (1-0 in league play, 2-0 overall)
Perry’s Villas (0-0, 2-0)
Sam Vincent’s Indian Churns (0-0, 2-0)
Jefferson Food Bays (0-0, 1-1)
Cuba Cigars (Limited) (0-0, 1-1)
Bayless Shoe (0-1, 1-1)
Blackcat Furs & Accessories (0-0, 0-2)

SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER PREDICTION: EAGLES 42, CIGARS 0