The Gridiron Geek accidentally gave away almost half a season’s worth of Power Poll results already, ranking the 2023 Seckman Jaguars #1 in Week 2 without realizing that no team was ever ranked down in the Jefferson County Power Poll after winning with a Turbo Clock. That’s relevant to this season’s chase for top honors, with Seckman scheduled against Pevely, Bloomsdale, and Plattin Township following the Valle U. victory.
We’ve got to change things up, or padawans will stop link-clicking due to the Power Poll’s lack of suspense until Weeks 5-6. But also, TGG knows from experience that Mississippi Magazine’s “River Rankings” don’t “poll” very well in their own right – outside of Paducah, where the weekly became a local hit for some reason. (A blog page that gave west-bank Mississippi dwellers the scoop about East St. Louis’ best teams could be pretty sweet.) If nobody can get up for the Power Poll since it’s easy to predict, and nobody wants to see the St. Louis teams because they’re too hard to recognize, then The Geek has an idea.
Let’s combine the Jefferson County Power Poll and the River Rankings, and see where ALL our kids fit into the grand scheme of District 1, aka Missouri pigskin played next to the mighty mud-flow. We’ll place Jefferson County’s strongest football clubs in the Top 10 of the Missouri border, and put our schools from other District classifications (or those which cannot be expected to poll in the Top 10 next to Class 6 teams) where they might go throughout the totem pole.
Top 10 Football Teams in MSHSAA District 1
#1 – Jackson Indians
Jackson is Missouri’s “east coast” champion until further notice, and not just because of the Injuns’ enduring power. CBC has been shifted over to District 2’s “inland suburbs,” while St. Mary’s is off to a terrible start in 2023. (It’s hard to announce that a school is closing, then announce that it’s still open, and expect to keep everybody on board.)
JHS isn’t exactly sealed-in at #1 though. The team with 60+ boys dressing out every Friday can’t find the starting 11 to play defense up to Los Pollos Jackson standards, giving up 5 TDs in a competitive 63-38 win over Farmington, a school almost 2 classes smaller, last weekend.
It must be those dumb, dull Jackson High School pep talks. (“Son, it’s about time for you to start playing defense for the Jackson Indians. What? No, I don’t get my slogans from a Beginner’s How-To book! Shut up and tackle!”)
Regional Radio, which treats Friday Night Lights with an “Any Given Sunday” outlook that says victories are always good news and losses are always bad news, suffered through the Jackson 63, Farmington 38 outcome with hardly a grim whisper. That’s funny, since Farmington coach Erik Kruppe went to bed a happy man, knowing he’s got an offense which can score 5 damned times against the Show-Me Bowl tycoons from Jackson.
If the Hillsboro Hawks or Festus Tigers score 40 points against Jackson any time soon – in victory or defeat – that person you’ll see doing cartwheels from the stadium all the way back to the locker room will be the head coach Bill Sucharski or A.J. Ofodile.
#2 – Lindbergh Flyers
Lindbergh lost to Ladue by 10 points already, and won’t have a quality W from the 2 already on the books unless 0-3 Chaminade goes on a streak, once the latter Varsity Red Devils get out from under the thumb of several less faithful to the enrollment rules more stacked private school teams on the early-season slate. It’s only Lindbergh’s relatively shiny playoff record that’s got LHS ranked over surging Seckman at this moment.
#3 – Seckman Jaguars (JCPP #1)
It’s nice to know that our county’s best teams are only a couple rungs away from favorites’ “poll position” in Class 6, District 1. At the same time, Seckman’s playoff draw in 2023 makes you wonder if MSHSAA doesn’t have a secret “NFL” (or “USGA”) streak when it comes to manufacturing matchups with meaning, drama, and even a few grand jokes.
Seckman died a little bit when it was put in the District of Districts – C6D1 alongside more Gateway City powerhouses than we’d want to mention again – with just days to go prior to 2022’s season. But the 3-0 Jaguars can begin scratching “Jackson” into the weight room walls again, as the JHS Indians are drawn next to Imperial’s team in Class 6, District 1, which has also been trimmed down to 5 public schools only (Hooray!) for 2023.
Neither the Lindbergh Flyers or Jackson Indians have a dominant defense with which to stone-ice Seckman’s powerful running game this postseason, which is exciting. But the Jaguars must hope to improve their own defense after giving up 63 points in 2 playoff games last fall. The toughest test should come from Pattonville’s offense in Week 7.
#4 – Hillsboro Hawks (JCPP #2)
The logic of ranking Hillsboro at #4 in District 1 is the same TGG used to convince a Crystal City skeptic that CCHS could draw a state media-poll ranking by the summer of 2023, just before the Varsity High School Hornets went on to bat .800 in 10 games. “Who’s gonna top ’em?” The Geek asked simply. “There aren’t that many complete teams in Class 1 to begin with, and MSHSAA booted all of the All-Star teams out, except for a nasty old program by the name of Duchesne who I could mention, but I won’t.” Crystal City High did receive votes for MSHSAA’s Class 1 rankings in preseason, and again after destroying Chaffee in Week 1, though the “Crisco Bowl” at LHS puts a kibosh on that for now.
So, we’re ranking Hillsboro above about 15 of District 1’s Class 3 and Class 4 teams (all comparably sized schools except for poor Dunklin R-5 and Fredericktown) AND almost all of the dozen brands bracketed in Class 5 and Class 6. Okay. But again, who’s gonna top ’em, or in Hillsboro’s case, who’s gonna beat ’em? Festus and Farmington have lost to Hillsboro about 72 times in the last few years, and the old coaches’ whispers about how “Class 5 and Class 6 are thin in this area” is proving true now that MSHSAA’s moved SLUH, CBC, and other strongholds over to other Districts. Jackson, Seckman, and Lindbergh stand alone as D1/C6 Show-Me Bowl threats with Ritenour over in D3.
HHS versus Poplar Bluff could be a barn-burner this fall. But so long as we’re Fantasy Booking our dirty dozen against all of District 1, you’ve got to like imagining what a matchup between Hillsboro and Park Hills Central would be like. The CHS Rebels accomplished a feat QB Cole Ruble and the Seckman Jaguars could not in 2022, defeating a private school’s All-Star lineup at the height of its powers, when CHS eliminated Valle U. (“If you don’t believe in the almighty, JUST LOOK AT THAT SCOREBOARD!!!”) in a District Championship Game corker last November.
Festus couldn’t beat Park Hills Central with its current form, even if the Tigers fool around and beat Farmington, Hillsboro, or both. Those fierce Flat River kids would out-discipline the Tigers to death, and probably win a tense game in some gun-twirling fashion, like a touchdown punt-return by a fast kid with a scary sounding name like “Cannon” something. Then, a CHS linebacker – who caught a 6-pound Bronzeback out of Mineral Fork with one arm, and whose sister is named Kay-Lynn – would fall on an on-side kick to seal the W.
Will Farmington get the better of Park Hills in the 2020s? Not likely. The Black Knights are far better this year than in 2022, but lost 48-14 in their last turn against the Rebels. We’ll see if Cape Girardeau Central can beat the other “CHS” in Week 4, but it’d be an upset.
How would a Hillsboro vs Park Hills scrum turn out? It probably wouldn’t turn out until about 10 PM, with a whole lot of crazy episodes in the 3 hours prior. Neither side would prevail on the line of scrimmage. It would come down to last ditch field-goal attempts at the end of each half, INTs with dangerous return-legs, and clutch catches in the Red Zone, a lot like Jefferson at St. Pius X could progress this Friday evening. Hillsboro vs Park Hills Central makes as much perfect sense in the regular season as FHS vs St. Genevieve, making it potentially just a matter of time before Hawks vs Rebels becomes a thing.
#5 – Park Hills Central Rebels
Due respect to the Flat River boys, but it’s Cape Girardeau that deserves praise for scheduling the Rebels in midseason. It’s easy for Class 5 coaches to dismiss potential games against Class 3 as a high-pressure, no-win scenario for the larger High School. But Cape’s coaching staff is clever enough to know that the well-matched battle can benefit both teams, as opposed to CHS losing to Jackson or beating Sikeston by 40 points.
#6 – Cape Girardeau Central Tigers
When does that soft underbelly of Class 6 begin overwhelming the power of Class 3, 4, and 5 teams with sheer numbers? Not at #6. Oakville is 3-0 with close-shave wins over a soft schedule, as if Windsor had continued in the fashion of August’s 7-6 win over Herky. Cape Central is a thin favorite to conquer Class 5, District 1 over the likely high seeds Farmington, Poplar Bluff, and St. Mary’s. However, with the exception of St. Mary’s obviously hampered effort this season, all of those programs, in addition to Fox High (which has drawn a lucky berth in C5D1 after years of bum luck), are on the mend.
Farmington made a statement in defeat vs Jackson – will Cape Girardeau Central make a statement in victory over Park Hills Central? Tune in…wait, no, don’t tune in, that game happens this Friday, and TGG thinks everyone should follow Jefferson at St. Pius X.
#7 – Poplar Bluff Mules
Poplar Bluff tried a ball-control, defense-oriented team in 2022, but still couldn’t solve Hillsboro even as the Mules made headway with a weirdly quiet style. That sort of shift in a team usually boils down to whether the head coach thinks his starting QB can hack as a passer (or a runner), but PBHS’s recent shoot-out with Cape Central showed some life from the quarterback spot and – always a key for the Mules – a renewed WR corps.
#8 – Valle University
If you’re tired of listening to radio announcers scream-for-ice-cream over Park Hills Central, look for the retooled Vianney Golden Griffins as another potential regular-season foil for Valle University in Week 8. Of course, Regional Radio is bound to show up for that game, also, with PLENTY of “ice cream” ready for the good guys against those host Griffins.
#9 – Festus Tigers (JCPP #3)
The Geek can’t find anyone else in District 1 who could beat Black & Gold in a fictional Week 4 game. Festus has already beaten St. Genevieve, the Fox Warriors are in growing pains, and Oakville could be about to have the Flood of 1993 wash over its winning record as the schedule turns difficult. Kennett is 3-0, but Class 3’s typically tough Indians labored to defeat Sikeston, an 0-3 side that lost its first 2 games by a million, last Friday night.
Jeremiah Cunningham leads Essien Smith in passing yards and TDs through 3 games, but do the Tigers have a quarterback’s competition anymore? They don’t really. The pair might as well be Paul Hornung and Jimmy Taylor in a backfield, just divvying up the good work. Touches are so well-distributed after 12 quarters that it’s hard to pick out any bell-cow athlete on the roster, but Ofodile doesn’t mind baffled opposing scouts having to try.
#10 – St. Mary’s Dragons
Good lord, the Class 4 champs could show a little something left over from ’22.
Where Jefferson County’s Other Teams Rank in District 1
Fox Warriors at #13 – There simply no breather on the schedule in midseason, though if the Warriors make any noise vs 2023’s slate, we’ll know Red & White is for real-zees.
St. Pius Lancers at #15 – St. Pius X has shown so much in the early going that Fox (in Class 5, often in Class 6) is running neck-and-neck against a school that’s in Class 2, and often in Class 1. It makes no difference if SPX would be a bad 2nd half match-up against platoon-roster teams from the bigger towns, as we’ll explain in Week 5’s JC Power Poll.
Jefferson Blue Jays at #16 – We’re just spit-balling where each Jeff County team would rank among District 1’s 45 bids in 2023, but we’ll be prepared to rank Jefferson highly in every poll forever if the Blue Jays check the roaring St. Pius Lancers in Week 4.
Crystal City Hornets at #22 – The Geek believes that CCHS could beat Doniphan and Fredericktown of Class 3 this season, and the Hornets have already showed what Crystal City can do to a vulnerable Class 4 side by staying perfect against Gateway STEM and Confluence Prep. The “top half” ranking will improve in a hurry if CCHS does it again.
Grandview Eagles at #24 – We don’t mean to create a phantom rivalry between GHS and Crystal City, in fact, in a way the 2 rosters are kin of the same recovered shipwreck. We saw Grandview football go dark for a moment in the late 2010s, and it was fashionable around the same time to claim that Crystal City football would go the way of the dodo. Grandview’s 2021 season, combined with Crystal City’s ongoing success, makes us wonder in genuine awe at the achievement of the teenagers from both schools. Out of forgotten ashes, the Eagles and Hornets are starring in big-time Friday showdowns.
The Geek won’t claim to ever weep over it, but…
Herculaneum Blackcats at #35 – Northwest would probably need the HHS injuries of last week to impact Dunklin R-5 before the Varsity Lions would have an easy ride against the Blackcats in a Week 4 contest. That’s kind of like a pro wrestling “Money In The Bank” outcome where a bad-guy rassler runs to the ring to pin an exhausted champion. But “whatever works” is the theme when you’re on an ugly long-term losing streak.
Northwest Lions at #36 – The lack of a deep Large School division in Jeff County keeps teams like Grandview ahead of DeSoto and Windsor. The latter teams have yet to prove they can defeat a contender from ANY Class, but Northwest has rebuilt enough to stand favorited over the DuBourgs of MSHSAA. Cedar Hill drew a brutal schedule, again.
DeSoto Dragons at #38 – A noble effort from DeSoto against North County in Week 3 keeps all of the county’s dirty dozen outside the pits of District 1, pending DeSoto’s ability (or lack thereof) to make hay against vulnerable WHS after an emotional FHS game.
Windsor Owls at #39 – Please, don’t get TGG started. At this moment, all that the fortunate 1-point win over Herky has accomplished is to spoil the Blackcats’ chance at a miracle winning season. The Albino Birds still have the talent to make headlines themselves.